Catch Up TIme!

It's definitely been awhile since the last time I wrote a blog post! In the last one I didn't even write about my trip to Connecticut :/ Boy am I behind!
Over the 4th I took a trip to go visit some of my family out in Rockville. Enjoyed spending a couple services out there, catching up with old friends, heading to the ocean and of course just relaxing :) Here's a few photos from there:

She's cute there need not be an explanation :)

This man is a great role model!

Story behind this. Jeff was trying to say I came to Michigan t
o see him, so we made him take a picture with us :)

Don't get to see my cousins very often so, we make the
best of the time we have together!

Modeling her swim suit :P

She loves her cousins :)

Family speaks a mile a minute,
But when it matters the most
They're the ones you know
Are going to tell you the truth!

My "favorite" cousin David :) If David and I don't have
a picture together, then the trip didn't happen. 

Doing what she does best....being cute and eating :)

After Conneticut things slowed down and got back to the normal schedule of school. Now I get to brag about God's beautiful little girl he entrusted to me. She just keeps growing! Just when I think she has slowed down she seems to have hit yet another growth spurt! She continues to get cuter and cuter as if it's even possible :) We have officially hit the stage of her saying no. She's constantly telling her dollies "no" or "no-no" and yes she's mimicking her mommy telling her no. The other day she comes walking through the living room telling her baby "no nummy." I can't wait until she uses words for everything and it stops being a guessing game as to what she wants 90% of the time. It's so hard to think that she's to the age where she is becoming more and more independant. I just wish she'd slow down :(

                                                             "Help Me Find It"

I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own

I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go

I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

[Chorus:]
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You

[Chorus]

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

I just can't seem to get enough of this song. It's as if it's describing me time after time of trying to find where I'm to go to next. A song of submission and faith that God will show you where he wants you, and give you peace and contentment in whatever he gives you or where ever he takes you. 

Have a fantastic rest of the week :) Until next time, may God continue to richly bless your life with justice as needed, mercy always, and grace even during the undeserving times!

No One Is EVER Beyond Repair

"Never Beyond Repair"

by: Evenfound

You’ve done what you promised that you’d never do
Your innocence gone and your fears coming true
How did you end up like this, feeling so lost?

Like your life is in pieces too broken to fix
And chains got you tied to a weight you can’t lift
But the biggest mistake that you made
Isn’t too big

[Chorus]
You’re not beyond repair
Grace meets you anywhere
And the mess of your heart
Is where love’s gonna start
Cause you are, never beyond repair
You’re never beyond repair

For all of your pain there’s a father who hurts
For all of your hurt there’s a healer who works
You’re never too far from his reach
So just believe, just believe

[Chorus]
You’re not beyond repair
Grace meets you anywhere
And the mess of your heart
Is where love’s gonna start
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Cause you are, never beyond repair
Never beyond repair

The moment you gave up
He gave up his life for you
The savior is able,
His forgiveness is the proof

You’re not beyond repair
Grace meets you anywhere
And the mess of your heart
Is where love’s gonna start
Cause you are, never beyond repair
You’re never beyond repair

[Chorus]
You’re not beyond repair
Grace meets you anywhere
And the mess of your heart
Is where love’s gonna start
Cause you are, never beyond repair
You’re never beyond repair
Never beyond repair, 
You’re never beyond repair.

So as I’m driving home from school today the song “Never Beyond Repair” came on and it made me think about myself and where I was two years ago. Two years ago this last week I found out I was pregnant with Amy and I had done the one thing that I had promised myself I would never do. Get pregnant out of wedlock because I didn’t want to be a single mother like my mom was because I saw how she struggled to support four kids on her own. Telling my “second mom” that Wednesday was so life shattering to have to sit there and say I’m pregnant. I felt like my world was crashing down around me. As if my life had broken into a million different pieces. I think back to the day I told my aunt and the day I told my grandparents and I just remember breaking down in tears because I had disappointed them…yet again. I was in a state of where I thought my life was completely beyond repair. I thought “oh boy, God’s really left me alone now.” What I didn’t realize then was what I realize now, no matter how big my mistakes of the past have been there’s not a thing that he hasn’t taken and spread it as far as the east is from the west. I never truly understood the part of Casting Crowns song “East to West” or the verse in the Bible in Psalms 103 that talks about “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” There is truly no way to measure how far the east is from the west because it’s infinite it never stops going. Just like Jesus who never stops forgiving. Even though I thought my life was in a million little pieces Jesus was still there to pick me back up and put me back together.

Last January when I found Jesus, truly found him because before I was a “Christian” one of those so called Christians who profess to be a Christian, but doesn’t live their life for Christ on a day to day basis. I was an EVERY Sunday and Wednesday Christian, but not a Monday through Sunday Christian. Last January I found out what it truly means to follow Christ. I found out the meaning to this song without having even heard the song until today. I’ll NEVER be beyond repair, nor was I ever beyond repair in the first place. Jesus never left me for a single second in my life, he was always there, but waiting for me to realize that I needed His love and His guidance throughout my life. He used such a precious, beautiful little girl to get my attention and get me to realize that I’m not beyond repair like I thought I was. I was just like a house after a tornado in a million pieces that just needed to be put back together by a wonderful Creator. He has continued to strengthen me as a “child” as a “daughter” as a “bride to be” in Him. He’s continued to show me how to raise HIS daughter who he’s entrusted in me to raise in a Godly home and environment. I’m blessed that God gave me such a beautiful gift to take care of and to nurture from childhood to adulthood if it be his will. God uses different life circumstances, relationships and experiences to bring us closer to him and our eternal home.

Have a fantastic day!

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
    dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.^[b]
Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.

  Psalms 37:3-7

Blessings of Motherhood!

It's been a few weeks since I've updated my blog so lets see if my memory serves me well again this time. Memorial Day weekend ended up being a very busy weekend for Amy and I. Friday after school we drove down to Bluffton with Terry and Laurie for Brendan's open house. Enjoyed hanging out with Brad and Michelle and their kids. Boy did we get a little rowdy in a game of dice when the numbers started getting pretty high :) Saturday we headed to breakfast with the family and then headed for home for Nicole's open house. Come that Sunday morning Amy was beyond cranky from the over stimulation and it's a good thing I've got a great support group to keep me in line or I would've skipped church that day. It's always good to have those people in your life who tell you to quit making excuses and get your butt to church!
I've been done working for a few weeks now and still struggle with balancing school, Amy, and God. I can't see how I managed to add work into the mix when I was working. I'm still a little stressed with school, but God still keeps me calm and sane. School's got its good days and its bad days just like with everything else. I wasn't too happy with my last months C as my final grade, but it just makes me strive for a better grade this month.
In the few weeks since I have stopped working I can feel myself growing closer and closer to God and that is possibly the best feeling (that and being a mother) anyone can possibly have. He's just really shown me that I have to stand my ground on my beliefs and I can't budge or else satan is going to come creeping in and knock my tree over. I've really enjoyed being able to go to Church every Sunday and Wednesday now even though I don't get there every Wednesday like I should. I hear people say they need to go to church, or they have to go to church, even that they know they should go to church. But, for me it's that I want to go to church. I want to go and learn and grow. I want that fellowship with those of like mindedness so I can be uplifted and purified. Church just challenges me week after week to live more fully in God and walk closer to him, so satan doesn't have the chance to put a stumbling block in my way.
The best thing next to Jesus is the JOY I get out of watching my daughter grow, get cuter and even more stubborn as the days go on. It's amazing how much she changes in looks month by month, and even how much her actions and personality changes month by month. She's definitely getting faster on me that's for sure, the little bugger gets from the from of Grandma and Grandpa's house out to grandma by the road in the time I glance at my screen. She loves to be chased and to chase me around the yard as she laughs in happiness and joy. Though her favorite things to do while outside is play in her pool, eat the dirt from the flower pots, and ride on the tractor with grandpa.
With father's day coming up I want to take a moment to talk about two very special men in my life that are both grandfathers to my daughter, one's a grandfather to me and both I see as very wonderful father figures, Terry and my grandpa Alvin.
Since my grandpa is older we'll start with him. There's no greater love by man on earth than that of a grandfather. My grandpa has taught me soooo many things over the last 20 years of my life. Even though at the times that he was teaching me I may not have always understood his reasoning, but I sure do now. He knew when it was time to use tough love, when it was time to just be loving and when there was a time to just be the big teddy bear he really is. Although he's a little gruff on the outside he's the biggest softy you will probably ever meet (of course I'm partial). I don't know that I will ever love an earthly man more than I love my grandpa.
Now we come to Terry....oh what do we say about him :p Well, he's a trouble maker, a teaser, very sarcastic, oh wait we're supposed to be talking about what makes him so great not his flaws haha :) Terry is the best grandpa I could have ever asked for, for Amy to have. When I watch him and Amy interact it melts my heart every time and brings me back to my childhood with my grandfather. Terry is just the picture of what a grandfather should be. To see his face light up when he comes home from work and sees Amy is just priceless. I love to just sit back and watch the two of them play and run around outside together; whether it be on the tractor taking a tractor ride or just taking a stroll around the yard. I just couldn't contain my smile tonight as I watched him dancing in the dining room with Amy to some old country songs. I don't think you could ever capture the love he has for her with just a single picture because everyday that love changes. I thank God for bringing him and Laurie into my life and for giving Amy the best grandparents a girl could ask for.
Watching all the love that people bestow on Amy makes me smile. I know she'll never have a lack of love no matter where life takes us. We will always call our precious church of Alto our home :)
The thing that still has me in awe is the welcoming I've gotten from Terry's family. From day one of meeting them all it was as if I was instantly part of the family. Outside of my own family of course I've never felt so comfortable with a group of people that I can be 100% myself around. They've just shown me the love God has through their own outreaching of Amy and I. I can honestly say I love every single one of them like I've known them my whole life. There is a quote that says, "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." I feel that way about Terry's family. God's just really blessed Amy and I by bringing us to such a loving church, giving us such a loving family to grow close to and for giving us the gift of his precious blood for our sins. Have a blessing filled weekend!

Month IN The LIfe of The Crumbo's

Wow, I can't believe it's been a month since I updated my blog last and boy has quite a bit happened since then. Where to start where to start...
Well, Amy went to the doctor a couple weeks ago and grew yet another inch in a month. I think she's cursed to be a 6 foot red head. Boy, this mommy might be in trouble with that. She's definitely her mothers daughter though. Just today as Terry and I put together his new grill I look out the back door from the garage and she had climbed up onto the table standing. She's going to give me gray hair any day now at this rate. She is in LOVE with her pool and seems as if she can't get enough of it. She's constantly in and out of it all day long! She has finally started getting teeth which boy I'm glad because she had me starting to worry. She got her top two teeth first which is a little unusual for kids to do, but oh well. Next she started getting a back tooth and a front bottom tooth at the same time and boy was that a painful week and a half as they broke through. Now she is starting to get another back tooth and hopefully soon the second bottom one will start poking through. When the doctor says the older the baby is when they start getting their teeth the healthier they are but the worse they teeth...they're not joking I found out.
Due to all of Amy's ear infections in the last 8 months she's going to have to get tubes in her ears unfortunately. But, on the bright side maybe she'll stop getting ear infections...that'd be nice. She enjoys going to grandma and grandpas house and riding on the tractor with Grandpa and mommy :)

She's definitely a John Deere Girl :) Grandpa's happy about that!

Every Tuesday we go to Rachel and Casey's house for dinner and just to hang out. It's been such an enjoyable time since we've started it. They've been a spiritual up-bringer. It's been so good for me and has helped me to reassess life and where I stand. I couldn't be more blessed having them in my life and having such a spiritually sound couple to strengthen spiritually with. Amy absolutely loves playing with the kids while we're there and barely stops to eat...which is usual for her busy body personality.

Last week she cuddled up in between Casey and Karina boy it was sure adorable :)

I've been blessed beyond what I deserve and I couldn't be more thankful...well I'm sure we all could be more thankful. I've been given the opportunity to stop working while I'm in school to not work and be able to spend more time with my beautiful daughter :) When God brought this all about and to my attention I was very skeptical about it because I was determined to do everything on my own and by myself. But, God thankfully opened my eyes and heart to the opportunity and told me it was ok to take it. He told me he wasn't going to look at me any differently because I wanted to take the opportunity to be there for my daughter more and be able to instill God in her life and what he's done for her and everyone else.

I'm going to be starting my fourth month of class Thursday and I'm excited to finally be out of the boring stuff and get into the interesting stuff of my education. We start learning about the Integumentary system and boy I'm thrilled! There's definitely been some ups and downs to school, but for the most part I've enjoyed it and will hopefully continue to enjoy it :)

Now for just some random pictures :)

She's all ready for the sunshine and the beach season :)

She LOVES to hang out with Uncle Eric and sport her crazy frizzy hair!

She's just a natural model :p

One thing I'll miss about working is walking out to a beautiful reminder
of God's handy work!

How I love to snuggle with my precious peanut!

When my days get long and my heart gets weary,
 I remember the blessing God has given me
and
I'm suddenly less dreary.
  Theres no better blessing that I could have gotten
 from God to straighten my life out.
 GOD is faithful to those who are faithful to him
and even faithful to those who aren't.
We are a loved people   

Sometimes life is like a storm,
they drench you they stress you
 they sadden you
and sometimes even make you want to scream.
But then you remember its only a passing moment in life
and God's there to protect you and help you through it all!

Random Picture from the trip to Illinois in late April :)

I've truly been blessed to have added these wonderful
people to my life. I can't imagine life without my little and big
brother who don't let me up for air :)
Let's not forget a sister who has just been there!
A set of Michigan parent's who keep me in line :)

Remember to THANK God DAILY for the things he has given you and remember without our Father in Heaven we wouldn't be here today! Thank you God for the gift of life!

Life as We Know It!

These are just short little blurbs I've written except the second one in the last month or two:

The road Im on is a winding road that God is leading me on to a Y where I made the choice to serve him. Although my life is still a winding road that brings me to a Y time and time again Ive been given a choice on which road to take, the one where I let Satan lead me to destruction or the one where God leads me ro contentment and happiness. Time after time I've chosen the road with God and in return he's given me contentment and happiness everyday :-)

God forgives our sins and remembers them no more, so you can stop remembering what God has forgotten! –Joyce

I have skeletons in my closet.

Ghost that haunt me.A past I don't regret.Without my past I wouldn't be who I am today.Without God I wouldn't be where I am today.Without my daughter I would've never understood my parents reasoning.Without the love and support I receive from my school, church and blood family I wouldn't be getting out of my comfort zone.I love you all! 

Over the past year and a half Terry and Laurie Steffen have taken Amy and I under there wings. Have adopted us as their daughter and granddaughter. Their families have been so kind and warm to us and made us feel like we belong and not just like we're these tag along. For that I'm grateful and I love you all dearly!

A few pictures from the last few months!

She loves her big girl bed :)

Had the Sarah Palin bump going on!

She loves playing toys with her grandpa :)

Terry and his girls except Laurie Sue! We should've
had somebody else take the picture so she could be in it :/

Favorite spot in church even when church is going on!

Enjoying my new glasses :)

Had another spurt of sickness thankfully it only lasted a day this time!

She got her first pony from grandma :)

Favorite spot at home to read books :)

Nerd day at school!

This is what happens when you let her hold her own cup hehe :)

It's hard to keep her inside even when it's freezing out.

Loves hanging outside with her grandpa, but hates the lawn mower!

Just hanging out at Grandpa and Grandmas :)

Had a blessed evening with Rachel and Casey and their adorable little children :)

A Letter to My Little Girl :)

To My Precious Little Peanut,

As I was rocking you to sleep tonight I couldn’t help, but start to cry. You’re my little miracle that showed me the wrong in my life. That little miracle that taught me there’s a bigger meaning to life. The little miracle that has pushed me to be a better person both inside and out and made me work for that. A little miracle that pushed me, to pursue my dreams in life sooner rather than later.  

Although you can’t understand why mommy’s gone so much now, someday I know you will. I go to school for you and me. So, I know that you’ll have everything you need in life. I go to work for you so I can make sure that we’re provided for. The time I spend at work, school, doing homework is for you my precious little bundle of joy.

I know we’ll have our problems down the road when you get older, but I’ll always be your mommy and I will always love you with all my heart. I hope that you’re not anything like me when I was a teenager because I might feel like kicking you in the butt all the time then. I want so much better for you than what I did for myself.

I’ve raised myself up in life with the help of a special person in my life. A person that I hope someday you find and hold close to…Jesus. He’s been my rock and shelter throughout the past year and a half. Even through the ups and downs in my life he’s never left my side. Even through all the stupidity that I’ve made in my life he never stopped loving me. No matter how small I thought I was he saw me for the person I was.

If there’s anything that I hope to teach you in the time that I have with you no matter how short or long it may be it’s that Jesus loves you through the thick and thin. When you feel as if there’s no one else you can rely on or no one else there that cares, remember he’s always there for you!

I know you don’t have a daddy here on earth and maybe someday you will, but you have a heavenly daddy who you can always turn to with all your troubles and cares no matter what time of day it is. He loves you so much that he sent his son for you, to die for you and to save you from a place of despair. He loved your mommy so much that he followed her, and nagged at her until she listened to him and turned her life around. He died for everyone, Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Carrie, Uncle Derek and Uncle Cameron and even your daddy too.

God brought so many wonderful people into you and mommy’s life to help guide us in life. Help me raise you in the right way and in a Godly way. You have so many people who are like aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents here in Alto that even though we don’t have any blood family here we have a family here. A family made of people who care and love us both and do so much for us.

Mommy loves you peanut and I can’t wait to see what new first you do next. I can’t wait to watch you grow up into a beautiful woman someday.

                                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                                Mommy

First night in her big girl bed. She's growing up so fast!

From Amy's first birthday!

"Hehe I've got grandpa wrapped around my finger" :)

I'm ready mom!

Ready for our first walk outside together in the new year :)

My wonderful Intro classmates!

Enjoyed having my cousin David from CT and Cousin Andrea from IL come visit Amy and I :)

Stay off the road Amy's driving! We're starting her early :P

Terry and his girls :) Except Laurie Sue is missing cuz she was taking the picture :(

Out taking a walk with mommy trying out the Titanic  Scene :)

A Year Already!

I just realized I hadn't written an update in quite some time! Almost a month actually because if I'm not mistaken the last post was the eight of February. Boy has quite a bit happened in the past month.
Amy of course has grown and continues to grow. She turns one today and I am feeling so incredibly blessed, that the Lord gave me my little girl. She has brightened my life and gave me the power and will to turn my life around. Although she wasn't a happy girl at her birthday party due to being sick I think she had plenty of fun :) She's in the stage of walking, but not quite gotten down the balance enough to walk all the time. So, now she gets into even more stuff, which makes for even more stuff her mommy has to pick up, but I don't mind (most of the time). She enjoys going to grandma and grandpa's house and getting to spend time with them.
Amy and I took a trip back to Illinois two weekends ago to visit my family. First time I've traveled that far alone with her and it went fairly well. We enjoyed seeing my family and a close friends newborn. Looking forward to this coming weekend when my cousin and uncle come up to visit Lord willing.
At the end of the month I started school to get my Medical Assistant certification and I'm excited to get the program done. I'm sure the next ten months will fly by like nothing! Today I actually took my first two tests and nailed them both and I couldn't be happier!
Maybe one of these days I'll have more time to sit down and write, but between school, being a mommy and working all of which are full time I don't have much time. May God bless your days, weeks and months ahead.