Testimony of Love

As I went to Bible study tonight and came home I just felt the need to sit down and let the spirit work through me and write what was on my heart. This is what came our as my pen transcribed along the paper. Sorry it's kind of long.

Sometimes she feels like she’s missing something. Sometimes she feels like it’s all there. Sometimes she’s just right in the middle. It feels at times like nobody cares. Like all the effort she puts in life just isn't appreciated or cared about. As if people look at her and say ‘oh there’s another screw up.’ She got pregnant as a teen and she’ll never amount to anything. What they don’t know is the inward battle she struggles with day after day to just keep fighting through this world as Satan pounds on her with doubt, fear and the sense of no love. But, what he doesn't know is she’s stronger than that. She has a Man who is more powerful than him. A Man who shows his love day after day without expectation of anything in return except for obedience.  His name is, Jesus. He loves her with all his heart and soul. So much that he gave his life for her. He promised her someday He would be back for His beautiful bride. But, for now He wants her to prepare herself for His coming. He wants her to raise His little girl to follow after His Father. To teach her to respect not only God, but herself, her future husband, her parents. So, that she can learn to love Him as her mom does. So she can learn the preciousness of His love for her. So, when He comes back He can take her too, to walk the streets of GOLD with Him. He wants to show them the beauty His father has created, to a much further depth than their young feeble minds can only begin to comprehend now. He’s only showing us a portion of the beauty we are going to see when He comes for us.

He’s entrusted His daughter, His bride Amy to a woman He found fit for her to call mommy. With his help he will guide her in how to raise her up to be a God-fearing woman. Although she doubts herself at times she knows God has a plan for her and as each time comes for another piece to be unveiled, God will reveal it to her. Moment by moment, day by day she continually reminds herself she’s not in this alone, Jesus gave her undeserving soul people to help her along this rugged path. When she starts getting weary and tired there’s always someone there to encourage and strengthen her weary soul. Day after day she lifts her voice in praise to the Creator, who gave her life, strength and hope that He might bless those and to give thanksgiving to Him for those who give their time to help her along this journey.

What people don’t realize is that even that five minute conversation they had with her two years ago made an impact on her life and gave her the hope to keep going and that things were going to be ok. The love she has for all those around her is so immense.  Even though she has no clue sometimes how to express her gratitude and love, she can only hope and pray they feel it. Growing up the way she did, losing her mother at a young age makes it difficult to portray love to even those closest to her at times. In the past she’s been burned by those she loves and that trust was lost, but through God’s mighty Grace she’s overcome those hurdles and learned to trust and to love yet again.

The woman I keep referring to as she is me. Throughout my life there have been the bumps, the hills and even the mountains in my life, but in the end… the Man I kept pushing away for seven long years was the Man who saved me, reformed me, changed me and now is working on molding me. The molding of my heart, spirit, and soul is far from being finished and may never be perfected until the day my Groom returns to take me as His bride. But every day I strive to be more and more like He asks me to be…loving, kind, humble, submissive, and contrite in spirit and in heart and the list goes on.

The moral of this story is when all hope seems lost it isn't  When you’re lacking the hope, remember who’s in charge. It isn't us; it’s our Creator in Heaven God. He’s standing there through the thick and thin, even when we don’t ask for his help he stand there with outstretched hands waiting to bring us back into his embrace. Like a friend of mine said, we can’t beat ourselves up and think we've gone ten steps back just because we missed one day of embracing the fullness of God. One of the beauties of God is he’s a forgiving God. A loving God. We can never sin a big enough sin the He would be unwilling to forgive if we but ask. So remember God loves you and so do those around you.