Phew!

So I never truly understood the book Five Minutes of Peace (I think I got the name right haha), until I had Amy. Just today I was reminded of that book as I spent the 3 hours earlier today while she slept cleaning, cooking, doing laundry oh and did I mention cleaning lol. It was nice just to be able to get something done without little hands trying to help me along the way. But, that book took much greater meaning about ten minutes ago when I finally picked Amy up and put her in her crib with some books, so mommy could regroup! After so many different fits over silly things (yes, I know it comes with the age of 2 unfortunately) this mommy decided it was time for a time out.
I have such a independent little girl who wants to do EVERYTHING by herself. Except when it comes to picking up her toys. I'm just rambling on and on, that's about as much sleep I've had these last few nights as Amy has been struggling to kick this nasty cough and cold she has. Waking up multiple times during the night coughing and gagging from mucus, which in turn scares her. Poor little honey.
I did just weigh and measure her yesterday and she is still off the charts for her age measuring in at 37.5 in or 3ft 1.5in. She's finally kept to her curve of weight staying pretty in between 90 and 95% in her age group weighing in at 32.5lbs. She's definitely a Minnie me in those aspects of childhood. I keep telling her to stop growing because she keeps growing out of so many cute clothes so quickly. I'm hoping she'll still fit into her 4T/5T clothes from this year next year!
I got this memory journal called The Modern Mom's Memory Journal months ago and haven't ever started it. So today as I came across it I decided I'd do this journal here on my blog. It's a daily journal so we'll see how I keep up with it and it's already Saturday so, I'm just going to do everyday up until Saturday since today is obviously Saturday lol. All these questions are meant to be answered about Amy obviously :)

What was the cutest thing my child did today?
Oh boy, this could be tough haha. Well I'd say the cutest thing Amy did today was say her prayers at lunch time. It's always so precious to watch her fold her little hands and pray before she eats. What's even cuter is when she scolds me if I forget to prayer with her before we start eating. She'll say "mommy pray," it's enough just to melt a mommy's heart :) The Bible tells us we should be like infants who long for milk, likewise we should long for spiritual milk. Seeing my little girl pray just reminds me of that every time. Reminds me that I need to become more fervent in prayer, more fervent in my trusting, and more fervent in my listening. I just can't resist from sharing one more cute thing she did today. She came up to me and asked me to tiss (aka kiss) her knee after she realized she had an owie from outside. I've discovered kissing the owie makes it feel all better in their minds :) Only if it lasts forever! Well at least I can wish :)

What did my kid smell like today?
Hmmm, I'm not sure you want me to go into all the things she smelled like today. The list could get rather long and a little disgusting for those with weak stomachs, so we'll just leave it at that.

How much sleep did I get last night?
Roughly 7.5, but there were definitely a few interruptions in there, so I'd say more like 6ish hours.

The funniest thing my child did today was?
She gets so excited when she sees grandma and grandpa. It's so cute to watch her run up to her grandma and give her big hugs or play coy with grandpa and run away (so he'll chase her of course). Laurie called me up this afternoon asking if it was ok if she stopped by before she headed back home from being out and about today. So, when she pulled up I'm back putting laundry away and here runs Amy yelling "mama, mama, mama here." She calls grandma "mama," grandpa "papa," and me "mommy or mom." It's just so great to see the love of God shown through the wonderful couple who have become mom and dad, and taken on the role of grandma and grandpa. God truly gives others a heart to serve in their own special ways.

I did laugh today because of all the silly things Amy did, and all the memories I've been reminiscing in my head. Hmmm, don't they say being in your own head is dangerous sometimes :)

What did I do today that made my child laugh?
Well I always tickle Amy in the morning when she first wakes up to make sure we start off our days with a smile on our face. God didn't make mouths that smile, so that we could sit around and pout all day.

If I could go back in time, what's one thing I'd "do over" today?
Questions like this sometime annoy me because in all reality I wouldn't change a thing. I got to spend time with my God given blessing, and some time with both my mom and dad today. Everyday shapes us more and more into the image that God is creating, and perfecting. We make mistakes, we fall, we stumble, but tomorrow is a new day to start fresh and strive to do better.

Today I wished that I was my child's age so that I could...
Take a three hour nap and play all day! But unfortunately I'm not 2 so there was plenty of housework to get finished and clothes to wash.

The mealtime breakdown:
0% splattered against the wall
0% hidden in the napkin
0% fed to the dog (mainly due to the fact we have no dog)
10% eating by my kid
90% Other...left in the bowl

What's one thing my child did today that will embarrass her when she's a teenager?
Hmmm...I'm not sure there is anything that would embarrass her at least not yet.

Today's "Bad Mom" moment
I lost my patience with her whining and crying that instead of taking the time to try and decipher why she was whining I just put her in her bed.

Based on my child's behavior today, I am sure he or she will grow up to be:
A mix between a political pundit (so loud and fussy!) and an olympic sprinter (always on the go!). But truly I think she'll end up an engineer or something with a complicated degree lol. Don't all parents say that haha :)

What's one lie I told my kid today?
None, I try my hardest not to lie to her. Lieing (I"m not sure that that's even the plural of lie) to her would promote it and I definitely do not promote lieing.

If a TV camera crew followed me around all day filming, they'd be filming?
A hardworking mom show like nothing ever seen before.

My child's favorite toy this week was her books. She LOVES to sit and read her books and have her books read to her.

The food my child asked for most this week was juice (I"m not sure if that counts as a food or not, but in my book it does) and I didn't give it to her all the time because too much juice makes for loose diapers.

My favorite mom activity is reading Amy her Bible story because I get to teach someone new Bible stories. I get to teach her about the love God has for his children, what Jesus did for us, and everything that led up to where we are now :)

Who was my parenting role model today?
My own momma was my parenting role model today. Even though I don't agree with everything she did when raising us, I can see the reasoning's behind it now that I have a daughter of my own. She was just trying to protect us and keep us safe.

If my child remembers one thing about today, I hope she remembers that I love her with all my heart.

Well off to our mommy daughter date :)

Happy Birthday Dad!

So, the other day I got asked if I was a daddy’s girl. I thought about it for a little bit and I decided that yes I am very much that way. I didn't grow up with a father who was there to warn me against the unwise and be there to encourage me, tell me I’m pretty or even just there for me period. When I was pregnant, lost and lonely the Lord gave me a wonderful man to help guide me. A man who has shown nothing, but kindness from day one.

I remember being in the hospital and Laurie calling you to tell you we were there and they were admitting me, then I also remember hearing her call back not more than an hour and a half later to tell you that the precious little girl who now calls you grandpa was born.

The first day you met her I knew that my little girl was going to call you grandpa, I could tell by the look on your face and the way you talked to her that God had blessed us with a man that I could call dad and she could call “my papa.”

At that first doctors visit after we were out of the hospital and the nurse called Laurie the grandma, was the day that you became grandpa to little Amy. From that day on that special bond formed between you and Amy, that bond that only a grandfather can have with his granddaughter. One that I see, kind of like the bond I have with my grandpa.

I can’t say that I truly remember the day that I started to see you more of a father figure than a threat in my life. But, I can say that I’m sure glad that I have grown to love you more and more because every day God show’s me a little more of his love through you. You’ve grown to be so much like a dad to me that whenever I talk about you I’m always referring to you as my dad.

From the day we were both born God began to prepare us for this time in our life. He prepared us for the day that I first met you and Laurie as a scared pregnant teenager, to the time now where I can comfortably call you dad. God began to prepare our hearts from that first meeting, so as time progressed his love for us has become more and more clear.

God choose the perfect family to bring me into, to steer me in the right path, to steer me in the direction of Him. God truly choose the perfect man to show me the wonder and the glory of his love. He choose a man who even though we can get irritated with each other at times, I know will never stop loving me like one of his own.

I’m proud to be given the chance to call you dad. Thrilled to be able to have the dad in my life to remind me I’m loved, I’m beautiful and people care. I will be the first to admit, yes I’m a very big daddy’s girl and not afraid to admit it because I have an AWESOME dad! I love you to pieces!!! Oh, and happy birthday :)

First time he held Amy :)

His favorite picture of the two of them :)

His 50th Birthday dinner!

My 21st Birthday

Testimony of Love

As I went to Bible study tonight and came home I just felt the need to sit down and let the spirit work through me and write what was on my heart. This is what came our as my pen transcribed along the paper. Sorry it's kind of long.

Sometimes she feels like she’s missing something. Sometimes she feels like it’s all there. Sometimes she’s just right in the middle. It feels at times like nobody cares. Like all the effort she puts in life just isn't appreciated or cared about. As if people look at her and say ‘oh there’s another screw up.’ She got pregnant as a teen and she’ll never amount to anything. What they don’t know is the inward battle she struggles with day after day to just keep fighting through this world as Satan pounds on her with doubt, fear and the sense of no love. But, what he doesn't know is she’s stronger than that. She has a Man who is more powerful than him. A Man who shows his love day after day without expectation of anything in return except for obedience.  His name is, Jesus. He loves her with all his heart and soul. So much that he gave his life for her. He promised her someday He would be back for His beautiful bride. But, for now He wants her to prepare herself for His coming. He wants her to raise His little girl to follow after His Father. To teach her to respect not only God, but herself, her future husband, her parents. So, that she can learn to love Him as her mom does. So she can learn the preciousness of His love for her. So, when He comes back He can take her too, to walk the streets of GOLD with Him. He wants to show them the beauty His father has created, to a much further depth than their young feeble minds can only begin to comprehend now. He’s only showing us a portion of the beauty we are going to see when He comes for us.

He’s entrusted His daughter, His bride Amy to a woman He found fit for her to call mommy. With his help he will guide her in how to raise her up to be a God-fearing woman. Although she doubts herself at times she knows God has a plan for her and as each time comes for another piece to be unveiled, God will reveal it to her. Moment by moment, day by day she continually reminds herself she’s not in this alone, Jesus gave her undeserving soul people to help her along this rugged path. When she starts getting weary and tired there’s always someone there to encourage and strengthen her weary soul. Day after day she lifts her voice in praise to the Creator, who gave her life, strength and hope that He might bless those and to give thanksgiving to Him for those who give their time to help her along this journey.

What people don’t realize is that even that five minute conversation they had with her two years ago made an impact on her life and gave her the hope to keep going and that things were going to be ok. The love she has for all those around her is so immense.  Even though she has no clue sometimes how to express her gratitude and love, she can only hope and pray they feel it. Growing up the way she did, losing her mother at a young age makes it difficult to portray love to even those closest to her at times. In the past she’s been burned by those she loves and that trust was lost, but through God’s mighty Grace she’s overcome those hurdles and learned to trust and to love yet again.

The woman I keep referring to as she is me. Throughout my life there have been the bumps, the hills and even the mountains in my life, but in the end… the Man I kept pushing away for seven long years was the Man who saved me, reformed me, changed me and now is working on molding me. The molding of my heart, spirit, and soul is far from being finished and may never be perfected until the day my Groom returns to take me as His bride. But every day I strive to be more and more like He asks me to be…loving, kind, humble, submissive, and contrite in spirit and in heart and the list goes on.

The moral of this story is when all hope seems lost it isn't  When you’re lacking the hope, remember who’s in charge. It isn't us; it’s our Creator in Heaven God. He’s standing there through the thick and thin, even when we don’t ask for his help he stand there with outstretched hands waiting to bring us back into his embrace. Like a friend of mine said, we can’t beat ourselves up and think we've gone ten steps back just because we missed one day of embracing the fullness of God. One of the beauties of God is he’s a forgiving God. A loving God. We can never sin a big enough sin the He would be unwilling to forgive if we but ask. So remember God loves you and so do those around you.

2 Years Already!

I'm sitting here while Amy sleeps...actually while she kicks the wall! Anyways I'm just sitting here thinking about when I found out I was pregnant. I was scared, confused, and didn't know what I was going to do. I remember calling my best friend crying and telling her I'm pregnant. I remember telling my 2nd momma that Monday. I broke down telling her that day, and broke down again when we went to the clinic to find out 100% sure. The hardest people to tell was my grandparents and Aunt because I felt as if I completely let them down by becoming the person I said I'd never become, a single mom. But, in the last two years from the day I found out I was pregnant to my little girl turning 18 months I've learned a lot, changed a lot and grown so much spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically.
In the last two years I learned that Jesus was who was needed to fill that hole that I felt in my heart for years, ever since my mom died. I was seeking to fill that hole with worldly pleasures and all it did was leave a even bigger hole. I was a "christian" all throughout high school or what I thought a christian was, but when I came to the Lord a year and a half ago I found peace, contentment, love, joy, peace and so many other things that just came and filled that hole. When I finally became a daughter of God I found what I was missing all along. That father figure that I longed for and was looking for in all the wrong places.
Crazy thing is, it has been two years since I made the move to Michigan! When my family came they brought the rest of my big stuff up and my Uncle Dan told them while they were loading it in Illinois, "I guess this means it's pretty permanent." I would say me living in Michigan is permanent until the good Lord decides otherwise!
As I made the transition in my life from living in Illinois to moving to Michigan and making Michigan my home, I made the "parent" transition from a wonderful Aunt and Uncle as parents to a wonderful set of "parents" here in Michigan. I look at it this way...My mom started raising me, then my aunt and uncle continued the raising process in the teenage years and now God has given me Terry and Laurie (of course their wonderful kids too!) to help refine and fine tune me.
Now that we've had that little heart to heart let us talk about life in the present :) I am 2 months and 1 week to starting my 200 hour externship to finish up my Medical Assistant Program and become certified! Let's just say I'm beyond thrilled to be done with that part of schooling and am planning on going on further with the ending goal of having a Masters in Nursing and work at a Pregnancy where my passion lies outside of My Jesus and My Daughter!
Amy just continues getting cuter, more hair, and just keeps growing no matter how much I tell her to slow down ha ha! She is into horses right now especially since grandma and grandpa live across the way from horses. Let's just say she is a fast little bugger and we do a lot of chasing to keep her contained to the back of the house. She keeps learning more and more words and sometimes I find myself telling her to sush so mommy can get some homework done. She is definitely her mothers daughter with all her talking, climbing, and having no fear. I'm just waiting for when we must take a trip to the ER because Amy fell and broke something. She's in the stage of everyone is mommy or momma (even grandpa ha ha).
My aunt, uncle and their 4 kids came to visit Labor Day weekend and we enjoyed a weekend of activities. We went to the beach on Saturday, adults only dinner Sunday night and saw them off Monday. Amy LOVED having her little cousins and learned more from them than her mommy would have liked. We were playing toys in the basement a couple of days ago and she's "shooting" me with a gun. Hmm she surely didn't learn that from me :P
The following weekend I headed back to Illinois with Grace and my cute little nephew Kendyn. Boy was the trip down and back rough. Let me tell you, two babies crying at the same time makes for some sanity to be lost! I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends. I got to see my second mommy and have breakfast with her. She got mistaken for grandma (which she is one) and I for mom to both her son and my daughter. I guess I look old enough to have a boy over 10. I got to help wish a very cute Caroline a very happy 4th birthday! Enjoyed bringing apples back from my grandpas tree and boy are they delicious.
This past Friday I had a root canal done. Lucky me I had two roots in the tooth instead of 1 like normal people, but I'm not very normal he he ;P So after a topical anesthetic, a local anesthetic one in the gum and the other on the roof of my mouth (that doctor was lucky he didn't get smacked), and two sets of anesthetic put inside the tooth we finally got my mouth numb enough to get the root canal done. Granted my mouth was numb for 4 1/2 hours after the Dentist was done, but I didn't feel a thing :)
Things coming up in the future...

• October 5&6 Lord willing Amy and I will be heading for CT to my cousin Evan's baptism. I'm excited because it will be my first baptism since I've been baptized :)
• October 10 Amy has surgery to put tubes in her ears and hopefully that will take care of out ear infection issues.
• November 4th I turn 21 and Amy will be 20 months :) Had to put that in there for my Dad here in Michigan :)

Well that's all folks! Hope you have a blessing filled Sunday and until I write again :)

Noah was the go to guy the whole weekend my family was here :)

The girls :)

My two sets of "parents" Illinois "parents" on the left, Michigan "parents" on the right :)

We're told we could pass as sisters :)

 Enjoy the picture flashback overload :)

Catch Up TIme!

It's definitely been awhile since the last time I wrote a blog post! In the last one I didn't even write about my trip to Connecticut :/ Boy am I behind!
Over the 4th I took a trip to go visit some of my family out in Rockville. Enjoyed spending a couple services out there, catching up with old friends, heading to the ocean and of course just relaxing :) Here's a few photos from there:

She's cute there need not be an explanation :)

This man is a great role model!

Story behind this. Jeff was trying to say I came to Michigan t
o see him, so we made him take a picture with us :)

Don't get to see my cousins very often so, we make the
best of the time we have together!

Modeling her swim suit :P

She loves her cousins :)

Family speaks a mile a minute,
But when it matters the most
They're the ones you know
Are going to tell you the truth!

My "favorite" cousin David :) If David and I don't have
a picture together, then the trip didn't happen. 

Doing what she does best....being cute and eating :)

After Conneticut things slowed down and got back to the normal schedule of school. Now I get to brag about God's beautiful little girl he entrusted to me. She just keeps growing! Just when I think she has slowed down she seems to have hit yet another growth spurt! She continues to get cuter and cuter as if it's even possible :) We have officially hit the stage of her saying no. She's constantly telling her dollies "no" or "no-no" and yes she's mimicking her mommy telling her no. The other day she comes walking through the living room telling her baby "no nummy." I can't wait until she uses words for everything and it stops being a guessing game as to what she wants 90% of the time. It's so hard to think that she's to the age where she is becoming more and more independant. I just wish she'd slow down :(

                                                             "Help Me Find It"

I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own

I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go

I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

[Chorus:]
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You

[Chorus]

I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

I just can't seem to get enough of this song. It's as if it's describing me time after time of trying to find where I'm to go to next. A song of submission and faith that God will show you where he wants you, and give you peace and contentment in whatever he gives you or where ever he takes you. 

Have a fantastic rest of the week :) Until next time, may God continue to richly bless your life with justice as needed, mercy always, and grace even during the undeserving times!